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Kevin Shaw

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If Screen Readers Were Airlines

Based on an old Internet post from 1995 comparing operating systems to airlines, I revived the analogy to screen readers.

 

JAWS Air

 When you get to the airport, you’re given extra bags to bring with you whether you want them or not. The planes are old, clunky and way bigger than last year’s planes, but at least there’s leg room. You can fly to all of the popular spots, but by bringing your own avionics engineer, you can   get your plane to fly almost anywhere. 
You’re constantly told that turbulence and crashing into the ground in a giant fireball can be avoided if you fly a plane with a faster engine.

Instead of windows, passengers look at screens that show the outside world

 

Window-Eyes Air

Just like JAWS Air, however you must board the plane from the rear. All of the seats face backward. Everyone who flew with them fondly reminisces about how much better Window-eyes Air is when compared to JAWS Air.

 

NVDA Airlines:

A few passengers who were fed up with JAWS Air decide to start their own airline. The planes look like JaWS planes, only smaller. Passengers are generally treated well and the planes fly to lots of great places. The only catch is that it’s recommended you bring your own flight attendant as the one provided has their jaw wired shut after a brawl in the JAWS Air lounge.

After a quick tutorial, yOu install your own flight attendant and the flight is very efficient and comfortable. When you tell your friends about your  great NVDA airlines experience, they ask “You have to do what with the flight attendant?”

 

Narrator Airlines

You see the planes all the time, but don’t know anyone who has flown on one for longer than an hour.
When a JAWS Air plane stalls, you parachute out of your plane, run to the nearest airport, hop on  Narrator Airlines, circle the airport and wait until you see a JAWS Air plane appear on the runway.

 

VoiceOver Airways

The futuristic, spaceship-like  planes are everywhere. Unlike JAWS or NVDA Airlines, VoiceOver Airways flies out of a totally separate, sleek, state-of-the-art airport. The all white planes fly to tons of destinations, but each one must build special all white runways and terminals for VoiceOver Airways planes.
Check-in, boarding, flying, disembarking and baggage claim all go effortlessly and the flight is smooth and comfortable. the in-flight meal is tasty, the flight attendants are all very friendly and the entertainment system is out of this world. You find yourself relaxing and enjoying your flight. For no reason whatsoever, your plane explodes mid-flight. As you fall towards the ground, another airplane suddenly materializes around you and you continue flying as if nothing happened.

 

Talkback Airlines

Passengers run onto the runway, form a giant square around the plane and then hop on. For some reason, the plane flies straight, then right, straight then right until you reach your destination.

 

System access Airlines

Passengers push the airplane, hop on and fly until the airplane stops. They all get out, push the plane again and repeat the process until they get to their destination.

 

ChromeVox Airlines

Like narrator Airlines, you don’t know anyone who has flown with them, but their TV advertising looks cool. The flight attendants all seem very nice, but they ask lots of prying questions about your personal life. While your flight is okay, you can’t help but feel as if you’re being stared at.

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